"Why are they here" - is what was asked by a older sister at the lgbtq supporting methodist church concerning me and my husband post bible study today - new bible study my husband had told me (he is the one that get's the bible study e-mails not me)..................

 "Why are they here" - is what was asked by a older sister at the lgbtq supporting methodist church concerning me and my husband post bible study today - new bible study my husband had told me (he is the one that get's the bible study e-mails not me)..................

I was already not feeling like I was like "fitting in" but I never feel like I "fit in" like never. never. never. never. 

I have a real problem

people know I am a jew oftentimes

I'm only sometimes passing as hispanic, sometimes I'll hear at stores Buenas Noches, Buenas dias.......

at church I wear facemasks to keep people from getting sick

well guess what I look like wearing a facemask - a jew

a lot of people don't like jews they don't like us

and I can't control how many babies and people are being killed in gaza I don't have any control over that! 

my husband says I shouldn't quit the methodist church over this cause it's only 1 bad incident and that I shouldn't quit the methodist church due to all the rest of the "positivity" 

but I didn't feel like I fitted in anyways that's the thing

.............

so when you already don't feel like you fit in

and then

your um singled out for merely ATTENDING A BIBLE STUDY WHICH IS A THING MANY PEOPLE DO AND THEY PEOPLE MANY TIMES A WEEK AT MANY CHURCHES ATTEND BIBLE STUDIES AND THEY AIN'T SINGLED OUT

MANY PEOPLE

EVERYWEEK ATTEND BIBLE STUDIES EVEN FOR THE 1ST TIME AND THEY AREN'T SINGLED OUT LIKE ME AND MY HUSBAND WERE TODAY

........................................

JESUS COME BACK

I CAN'T

......................................

I want to go back to the mega church

more people my age there at the mega church

it's all older people that I have a hard time relating to at the methodist church

...............

I DON'T FEEL LIKE I FIT IN

AND MY HUSBAND CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL HIM

I'm technically near 50 and basically a senior citizen nearly if you want to get technical

but I relate

to teens

I RELATE TO TEENS!

TEENS IS WHAT I RELATE TO

I feel comfortablest around teens young people

.................

I don't just look young

I think young

the idea of retirement SCARES ME

cause that's it

that's like some ending

I can't imagine

no longer earning money to save up to buy something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

took this pic seconds ago..................

it has a automatic filter but the 1st pic is unfiltered..........it's like young looking and young looking..............

jew looking

and 

jew looking

probably

..........................

might serious dye my hair back blonde just to look more latina

cause latina's are liked a lot more then jews are

yikes

back to looking like marilyn............though I've been laughed at by at least one drag queen when my instagram account was active. Many say I don't look like marilyn because I don't look 100% like her, but a "generational twin" isn't going to be a 100% twin.........

not only do I look in the mirror and see marilyn monroe everyday.............I have her hand. I like it....................I like both looking like marilyn and having her hand..............it's comforting to me in a often very hostile world.

sidenote..................

I continually know what's going on

in eugenia cooney's life

trisha paytas's life

jeoffrey stars life

etc. 

this isn't normal near 50 year old activity

neither is the music I listen to

........I still occasionally go skateboarding to...................yep..............................skateboarding 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

I listen to lil wayne songs................AND I LIKE MANY OF THEM