The sister that said that to me appears to of either quit going to the united methodist church me and brian go to - or she only attends on a rare blue moon?
The messianic synagogue near me is worse - oh ya.
Cause it's mostly (or it was when I attended it) full of white people (no hate at all) and then they are a little bit tooooooooooooooo happy to see you
aka one of the towns token few jews
they are toooooooooo happy
and I definately didn't please them
because one day I watched a live service online (keep in mind small church - maybe 5 people also were watching online that day MAYBE) Pastor was like "shhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeee's here"
and then said he'd never let someone with a pirate themed you tube channel (I have since unpirate themed it, but it was pirate theme that day) run his church I never at all asked to run his church at all nothing noooooooooooooooooooooothing
he said "this isn't the 1st time we thought someone would be mega nice in real life but they weren't" ---------- so they basically called me a b word ----------- or less them mega chippery doling out to the what back then 70% white people there that were wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to overly excited to see a jewish person in real life
I'm not supper animated in real life like that - I'm not
I didn't like having all that pressure on me to love all the white people 10 billion every sunday.....................................don't be a b word myself you were supposed to invite all them white people you do not know over to your house everyday (no hate - but they really were """"""""""too excited"""""""""""" to see jew people's at that syngague all the white people there were)
I didn't get to hang out with jews much either there - only a small handful of times at the messianic synagogue usually on jewish holidays they'd finally show up - and we'd sit together and fellowship --------------------- that was rare
many sundays I was of the what 5 jews there expected to be super chippery invite every white person over to my house cause they soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited to see me
I pissed every white person in that church off
didn't realize I pissed them all off til that like wednesday night the pastor called me the b-word basically (he like took a break from one sermon to call me a b word) he didn't use the b word but basically that's what he meant
What happened to me that one bible study night at the united methodist church I can "recover" from that...........................
there was no recovery from the messianic syngague near me all them aggreeing that night with the pastor - THEY CLAPPED AS I RECALL - when he said "I'd never let a lady with a pirate themed you tube channel run my church" (which I never made 0 mention about wanting to do anything but attend that church - that was it I wasn't trying to run nothing) it was over for me and the methodist church that day
this below I recovered from......................
"Why are they here" - is what was asked by a older sister at the lgbtq supporting methodist church concerning me and my husband post bible study today - new bible study my husband had told me (he is the one that get's the bible study e-mails not me)..................
I was already not feeling like I was like "fitting in" but I never feel like I "fit in" like never. never. never. never.
I have a real problem
people know I am a jew oftentimes
I'm only sometimes passing as hispanic, sometimes I'll hear at stores Buenas Noches, Buenas dias.......
at church I wear facemasks to keep people from getting sick
well guess what I look like wearing a facemask - a jew
a lot of people don't like jews they don't like us
and I can't control how many babies and people are being killed in gaza I don't have any control over that!
my husband says I shouldn't quit the methodist church over this cause it's only 1 bad incident and that I shouldn't quit the methodist church due to all the rest of the "positivity"
but I didn't feel like I fitted in anyways that's the thing
.............
so when you already don't feel like you fit in
and then
your um singled out for merely ATTENDING A BIBLE STUDY WHICH IS A THING MANY PEOPLE DO AND THEY PEOPLE MANY TIMES A WEEK AT MANY CHURCHES ATTEND BIBLE STUDIES AND THEY AIN'T SINGLED OUT
MANY PEOPLE
EVERYWEEK ATTEND BIBLE STUDIES EVEN FOR THE 1ST TIME AND THEY AREN'T SINGLED OUT LIKE ME AND MY HUSBAND WERE TODAY
........................................
JESUS COME BACK
I CAN'T
......................................
I want to go back to the mega church
more people my age there at the mega church
it's all older people that I have a hard time relating to at the methodist church
...............
I DON'T FEEL LIKE I FIT IN
AND MY HUSBAND CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL HIM
Posts
0 comments:
Post a Comment