My latest diamond painting : )...................
as always nearly turn up the volume to hear evp's from Satan, Lucifer, the Devil (oh it's him trust and know that - that is the devil 1 billion percent, he is nice to me................sure I don't have anything on earth to proove that he's nice to me, just my word)
My mom thinks nobody wants brian but that isn't the case! He goes with me to church always, WOMEN WANT A CHRISTIAN GUY. And he told me that he don't have jesus living in him, he don't have no "personal relationship with the lord" he has never felt the precense of the holy spirit he told me he don't need jesus christ or the bible that he is sinless and awesome and to great and awesome to even need a savior or the bible that that is he tells me for weak lowly people like myself.
fine if that's all the case and he's sinless and awesome always he don't buy me flowers, kiss me on the lips but maybe 10 times a year tops, only wants "late night activities" about 1 time every 3 months is the current average, he don't take me on dates (our son is always with us when we go out and do shiz). NOTHING HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL SECURE?????????
AND THEN LAST NIGHT I HEAR A YOUNG LADY GIGGLING OUTSIDE AND THEN SEE BRIAN SITTING OUTSIDE NO PHONE HE WAS JUST SITTING THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and i'm supposed to feel great about life and safe??????????????????
(day before heard a lady talking, and as I walk past brian he shuts off whatever this lady was speaking through - like instantly - like "oops my wife is walking past gotta shut this off")
Brian only kisses me on the lips maybe 10 times a year, I know I sound crazy this blog post........I am aware that everyone wants to label me off a harlot of 0 value, satanic, a bish, and dimiss me. Especially people want to label me as crazy..................but this shiz is hard on my mental health that happens to me, THAT DOES HAPPEN TO ME.
things aren't going good in my life
they aren't looking good things ain't in my life - besides my "mystery future career" I ain't wanting to jinx.
We label women all to often as crazy - meanwhile a lot of women are being kidnapped, and killed, etc. etc. IT COULD BE SOME WOMEN ARE GOING THROUGH SHIZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like to hope lucifer is my 1st husband
that there's some hope for me to feel safe in the future
but maybe I'm not safe
maybe I never was????????
I am the "man in the box" theough I am a born girl but people spit on me, and they bash me...................................I don't deny jesus as my lord and savior that bit of the song I don't relate to the rest of it I do...............




















