I've been severely suicidal a few times in my life, but when things are bad in my life these days I think on the unseen things 2 Corinthians 4:18 "While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal."........

via GIPHY

(look at all them important butterflies)

I've been severely suicidal a few times in my life, but when things are bad in my life these days I think on the unseen things....................
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 "For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal."

  Some of you might be on the brink of dieing, some of you might be without a job at the moment. If you have jesus in your life you have a really good future 1 Corinthians 2:9 "But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him."

  And if you don't have jesus yet in your life Romans 10:9 "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." 

   It's ruff out there...............................but like the bible says, to like not worry about what you will eat, or wear.........but like read the bible a lot......................

 Luke 12:29-31 "And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind. For all these things do the nations of the world seek after: and your Father knoweth that ye have need of these things. But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you."

  I've been poor my whole life, it's depressing to me. I know I'm not supposed to care for but, clothes on my back and food on the table............I know that.

   I'm that fool in the body of christ dreaming about living in a mansion, and sitting by a real inground pool........................I not only look like marilyn monroe I am like her some, she was one them lounge by the pool type chicks............I lounge in the pool on one them floaties you lay on...........but same idea. To have a real pool, with like real concrete to lay on one them what you call them them beach chairs, and drink cola's or coffee's and read magazines............................

 I don't know if I'm confessing a sin right now????????????????

but I'll watch walk in closet tours on you tube 

I'll watch mansion house tours 

I'll watch fancy air plane seats videos. 

and dream....................................................

  It isn't about the money I don't think for me..........it's about feeling "special" I've decided. Feeling important. 

  When you have the more fancier seat in the airplane don't you feel special or important then - I think you do. I don't want to be "passed by" by people no more...........I want to matter. I want to be important.

1 Samuel 2:6-8 

6 The Lord killeth, and maketh alive: he bringeth down to the grave, and bringeth up.

7 The Lord maketh poor, and maketh rich: he bringeth low, and lifteth up.

8 He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth up the beggar from the dunghill, to set them among princes, and to make them inherit the throne of glory: for the pillars of the earth are the Lord's, and he hath set the world upon them.

 Brian is happy living here, I'm not I've been super suicidal several times............................I feel helpless. But I have hope, I have hope that God will raise me up.