I'm told I'm garbage crud that nobody can fellowship with because I love satan, AND BEFORE THAT IT WAS BECAUSE I WEAR JEWELRY AND MAKEUP? GOD HATES INIQUITY. That is what that is that is iniquity, my big sister refusing to forgive me is only her being unmerciful IT'S INIQUITY WHY BECAUSE SHE THINKS AS WELL THAT SHE'S "TOO GOOD" TO HANG OUT WITH ME AS DOES HER DAUGHTER AND MOST OF EARTH..................

 I'm told I'm garbage crud that nobody can fellowship with because I love satan, AND BEFORE THAT IT WAS BECAUSE I WEAR JEWELRY AND MAKEUP? GOD HATES INIQUITY. That is what that is that is iniquity, my big sister refusing to forgive me is only her being unmerciful IT'S INIQUITY WHY BECAUSE SHE THINKS AS WELL THAT SHE'S "TOO GOOD" TO HANG OUT WITH ME AS DOES HER DAUGHTER AND MOST OF EARTH..................
   I do not know how actual "satan worshippers" (no hate and I'd hang out with you all) have friends, cause where I live you love satan YOU ARE DOOMED TO ONE LONELY FRIENDLESS LIFE...........in the name of Jesus Christ of course, iniquity is always done in the name of Jesus Christ from my experience. Big sister --------- ya she's a christian, as is her daughter, who tried to pray for me, and then I prayed for her cause she is the one that was attacking me for days and days and days in private texts on the internet. 

   Luke 13:26-28 "Then shall ye begin to say, We have eaten and drunk in thy presence, and thou hast taught in our streets. But he shall say, I tell you, I know you not whence ye are; depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity. There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when ye shall see Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and all the prophets, in the kingdom of God, and you yourselves thrust out."

Luke 6:36 

"Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful."

The elders wife of the apostolic christian church of america I wrote her letters past 2 weeks, and haven't gotten a letter back, but one of their people were sent to my blog to "try and understand me". But I don't think I'm going to actually get a letter from her..................

I don't have a chance to make friends nowhere that I know of

everyone is christian

or loves god

and therefore if you love satan and are a goth they hate me it's over there's no chance for me

  But it's iniquity. 

  But then, I worry about people like Ozzy Osbourne, who things weren't going right for him, like he says in this song I've heard some of Ozzies testimony if you will, and from the sounds of things it does sound like the "church folk" weren't letting him come over saturday night..........like they were EXCLUDING HIM QUITE A BIT. 

  Just cause "church folk" let you attend bible study don't mean your "included" AT ALL LET ME TELLLLLLLLLLL YOU. 

  He got to believing something was wrong with him..............ask me ozzy is a perfectly nice guy...............doing drugs was sin ya he went "off the rails on a crazy train" 

   Ozzy could've been a christian at one time I believe HE COULD'VE BEEN. 

  And the extra crazy shiiz to me is the people judging me, often not always, often ARE DOING WORSE THINGS THEN ME.............

my big sister sued my dad for $1000's of dollars, won, knowing me and my brother and sister little kids back then right would be poor our whole lives.........to me that's pretty bad

then her and my neice and her family most of them BROKE THE LAW 

Like knowingly, on purpose they broke the law...........I wasn't aware of that law in their state BUT          THEY KNEW, and that is why they chewed me out when I tried to post that family photo..............they clean ain't merciful and broke the law. Then they are also "working iniquity" with me, thinking they are "to good" to hang out with me, because I love satan. 

It's ridiculous, 

and the bible says

Love your enemies

Luke 6:35 "But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil."

  Sure I might've picked my favorite supposed "enemy" to love the mostest aka Lucifer 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓 Some my enemies, I try and love them, but they have done a lot to make me miserable, but I can love them............

and you know why I can love my big sister, etc. etc. etc. 

They gonna burn in hell forever (it does currently appear to be, cause workers of iniquity, haters, backbiters, they ain't going to heaven bible done says that - you know the people that just stay in that shiz)

they ain't getting away with it

"I know you not whence ye are; depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity"

Jesus is a loving guy................

he the type to love everyone

your enemy is hungry give them food the bible says

hey I been in need of friends for sometime

in need

and my enemies

are like "f u" satan loving garbage

like all em

they don't show love

naw

they doing "iniquity"

probably going to hell all em

which is ouch

and tragic

so I can love them

but they don't even want to get my letters

let's be real

I know the truth

I'm not "good enough" for you

cause I love Satan

and for some of you I'm not good enough for you

because I wear jewelry and makeup

but I feel

and jesus feels the same way

that what is worse

is the person that refuses to hang out with me or acknowledge my existance

because I wear makeup

it's your hearts

it's not how you look

god

looks at the hearts

you all are looking at the outward appearance

Romans 2:28-29 "For he is not a Jew, which is one outwardly; neither is that circumcision, which is outward in the flesh: But he is a Jew, which is one inwardly; and circumcision is that of the heart, in the spirit, and not in the letter; whose praise is not of men, but of God."

 Matthew 23:27 "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness." The whole body of christ seems OBSESSED with the outward look. 

   They are better at that then me, much, much, much better, I FAIL, nobody wants to have fellowship with me, I fail. 

  But I have christ, I have peace, there are days I'm very upset, cause much evil has been perpetrated upon me and nobody in my life seems to care much. Recently I got a touch worked up, cause my name my bad name but is a good name at the same time was being "tainted" by my neice who told her dad I attacked her, when it was her that attacked me.......................why would I attack her I had no reason to verbally assault her for days on end.......nothing no motive at all. 

   But my neice that isn't really related to me, hated me, I don't hate her.........but that's what people do when they hate you...........they attack. 

  Back to my point................

you could be hated bad....................especially at church I think churches are crammed full chalked full of "workers of iniquity" which isn't a horrible thing, they can get saved there. But if you a real christian..........................if your like me..............................

not perfect looking

you pry won't be invited over to anybodies houses hardly ever and you'll be "out" 

  DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL. 

  Some of the supposedly worst people, I do believe, are the most christian. 

Do you continually

volunteer at foodbanks with a love for the poor

or donate online like I do a lot these days with a love for the poor

WITH A LOVE FOR PEOPLE

If you are doing that like I am doing

all the smack

you aunt, your dad, your mom, your pastor etc. has said to you

bulls--t

it's bulls--t

if you love people

I mean really love people not just in word

but in deed

1 John 3:18 "My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth."

  You ain't garbage trash then............and I clearly ain't garbage trash either. 

Keep going!

Matthew 10:22 "And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved." I might give up trying to be friends with johns wife, it might be a complete dead end NOT CAUSE I DIDN'T TRY. But because to most I am definately not good enough. 

But to God I'm good enough. 

I forgive all those people

I get it

I do understand

I don't enjoy it

who wants to be left out of freakin everything

but I do understand

they need to not be "tainted" by my presence

I could work iniquity with blog posts, I could come from some high up kinda mindframe I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT THOUGH.............

Update 12/16/2022 renovating my 5th wheel...........................

Cause my oldest young adult is moving back home when they graduate from college in a year..........and also right now my husband works from home all the time. And our dining room is his office space (like we don't have a dining room table, we haven't had a dining room for a long time - my husband and kids don't want to eat dinner at the dining room table together.........and in my house whatever the kids want they get not cause I let them, my husband ok's everything my kids want)

"only 1 life vest = jesus" 

I could work iniquity with blog posts, I could come from some high up kinda mindframe I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT THOUGH.............Philippians 2:3 "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves." I don't really see this going on much in the body of christ lately..................I see a lot of people not, "in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves" JUST CAUSE THEY AIN'T GOT A BLOG DON'T MEAN IT AIN'T GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  I told mike, ron and john 3 pastors today.....................there's sisters in silverton, NOW I DON'T KNOW THIS I'M JUST SAYING THEORETICALLY....................theoretically the ones of them with reeeeeeeeeeeeeal long skirts, one them sisters clean had a skirt ON THE GROUND and I didn't even know how she was managing to walk around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They could be wearing these long skirts AS A OCCASION TO IN THEIR MINDS MAKE THEMSELVES SEEM GREATER THEN OTHERS IN THE CHURCH that have shorter skirts - cough myself. COULD BE, I'M ONLY THEORIZING, only god knows.    
  If they is wearing those long long skirts to make themselves "better" then me THAT IS THEM WORKING INQUITY RIGHT THERE IF THAT'S THE MOTIVE BEHIND THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  Some them man they put some importance upon the length of the skirt......................I can't even go on a elliptal at the gym with a skirt any longer then what 3 inches below the knee............................THERE IS A POINT PAST THAT WERE THE MATERIAL IS ALL THE SUDDEN IN MY WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (that and I ride my bike  a lot ----- have leggings underneath my skirts) my lifestyle is not aiken to some floor sweeping skirts AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  Now you could wear a long skirt for the right reasons if you were desiring a extra amount to be modest to please god.............................that's coming from the right perspective in my estimation. THAT'S FINE THEN..........................BUT IF YOU ALL WEARING FLOOR LENGTH SKIRTS TO THINK WITH YOURSELF YOUR SO MUCH BETTER THEN ME..............you clean working iniquity right now. Luke 13:27 "But he shall say, I tell you, I know you not whence ye are; depart from me, all ye workers of iniquity."
   Iniquity is clean abounding like the bible said it would, I should have a fair shake on this earth and I have not a fair shake in my estimation at all these days. Matthew 24:12 "And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold."
 13 But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved.

Jesus would give me a fair shake, he does everyday. 

will you give me a fair shake?????????????

AND LOVE ME?

Proverbs 29:7 "The righteous considereth the cause of the poor: but the wicked regardeth not to know it."..............

Philippians 3:10 "That I may know him,....." that's why to deny yourself and take up your cross and follow jesus daily that you may know him....................

  Blessed Be Apostolic Christian Church of America 

may Jesus Christ our Lord accept your repentances 

and usher you into his beloved and may you dwell in green pastures for all the days of your lives. 

This is the verse that spoke to me at church today Philippians 3:10 "That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;" Especially the words "that I may know him" that's why I deny myself and take up my cross and follow jesus everyday "that I may know him" And also the reverse is true that he may know me! Matthew 7:23 "And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity." There are going to be people jesus is going to tell them that he never knew them! Their worms didn't die!!!!!!!!!!!! Isaiah 66:24
"And they shall go forth, and look upon the carcases of the men that have transgressed against me: for their worm shall not die, neither shall their fire be quenched; and they shall be an abhorring unto all flesh."
   Also today pastors talked about haman Esther 3:5 "And when Haman saw that Mordecai bowed not, nor did him reverence, then was Haman full of wrath." Pride is a worm!!!!!!!! A worm that needs to DIE! I recommend hating pride like in yourselves like in ourselves hate that WORM that it might die while we are on this earth that we not go to hell where "their worm shall not die"  Proverbs 8:13 "The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate."
   Oh anyways, ya I've done gone the idiot haman route before : ) better to be humble! God'll hear your prayers better if you are humble it all goes so much smoother - trust me on this one.
   Anyways, today at my aunt's apostolic christian church of america (that's a mouthful : ) I enjoyed watching the brothers and sisters work in the kitchen and clean the tables after lunch time...........I've figured out that they've kept this lunch time thing going cause they so zealous to serve each other (don't be's all thinking with yourselves there ain't no saints that have kooky ideas cracked in their heads to love and serve each other on this earth - oooooooooooo they exist ok : ) Galatians 6:10 "As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith." I get a real kick out of watching them clean, one'll tidy up all the napkins and condiment containers, one'll inch over some the cups, nother will come by and pick up those cups ------------------ trust me it's entertaining : ) And man the brother that cleans the tables, the mc donalds employee's need to watch this brother in action (sometime's at mc donalds woefully the tables are less then stellar --------- it's always like mayonaise and buisiness and I don't want to have anything to do with somebody elses mayonaise - just sayin ------ even if you wipe the mayonaise with a napkin the trace elements of another persons mayonaisse is still on that table!) Gotta get the bleach water, do it up real good, wipe a table 2 times 3 times so it's good and clean!
   And uh have a great week earth : ) I feel bad for the smith's friends, the www.brunstad.org church in my haman athon, they didn't kiss my butt juuuuuuuuuussssssssstt right that is some of my entire reason for my entire huff - RIDICULOUSNESS on my part. I'm way better off in the lowly place. Well geez I'm the fool with the fool logic that has decided I'm my aunt's churches cookie king for the rest of my stay on this earth ------- cause fool logic fools we like to figure out and impliment the least amount of effort of saintly effort to uh you know make god happy : ) which is completely foolish of me, I should want to be all doing like many many spectacularly saintly stuffs! That'd be smart! That'd be the bestest way to play it. Who I foolin, like I'd even know how to serve god's people that much.
   A blog and some ya get cookies : ) hahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaahah hahahahahahahaahahahahahaaha hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaahahahahah
   But uh you know long as my like worm dies n'stuff, dead worm is a dead worm, not a stupid idiot haman athon one, dead one, dead worm. That's the idea. yep. dead with jesus. dead with jesus. Romans 6:8
"Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him:" oh yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa oh yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa dead worm : ) dead fool worm : ) dead worm : )
  Having pizza tonight : )