Am I really that different then you all? Nobody out there wants mansions, and yachts etc. A life "more abundantly" cause friends === money and money ==== friends according to the actual bible. Proverbs 14:20 "The poor is hated even of his own neighbour: but the rich hath many friends." I am "extreme" but not that different then most everyone I do very much believe (though there are some people who like to be homeless and want to be homeless I have heard them from their own mouths on you tube, so not all are like me...............but I believe MOST ARE LIKE ME)...................

Am I really that different then you all? Nobody out there wants mansions, and yachts etc. A life "more abundantly" cause friends === money and money ==== friends according to the actual bible. Proverbs 14:20 "The poor is hated even of his own neighbour: but the rich hath many friends." I am "extreme" but not that different then most everyone I do very much believe (though there are some people who like to be homeless and want to be homeless I have heard them from their own mouths on you tube, so not all are like me...............but I believe MOST ARE LIKE ME)...................

But if you all knew the whole truth about me

maybe a angry mob would show up at my house???????????

I care about people

but mostly 

I likes...................................

I'm a real "valley girl" 

but I can't talk about that on my blog cause people is hatin. 

hatinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

the horror though

the horror cause

if I talk

maybe I'd be hated less while being hated more

my new fave perfume

I have a bit of a perfume collection going

this ones really good

It might not be my #1 perfume cause I have some real "dooseys" but this one smells really good................

mambo by Liz Claiborne.................

I'm dying my hair today to.

Gwen says....................................................................................

"now we ain't getting nothing but love".......................................now that her and her friend is RICH.................................

so what is the suffering for?????????

if you suffer to be hated

if you suffer

and are hated...............

Mark 13:13 "And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved." - the bible says you will be hated for "Jesus's name sake"

well that isn't "life more abundantly"

is not 

life more abundant one with friends

John 10:10 "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."

hell even the bible says.................................

Luke 18:29-30 "And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for the kingdom of God's sake, Who shall not receive manifold more in this present time, and in the world to come life everlasting."

  SO IS NOT MANY HOUSES, FAMILY, KIDS FRIENDS....................."life more abundantly"?????????????????????????????

So then wouldn't money be the #1 thing in the body of christ so as to have "life more abundantly"???????????

 Proverbs 14:20 "The poor is hated even of his own neighbour: but the rich hath many friends."

Mark 13:13 "And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved."

For if you have no friends and are hated by all men "for Jesus's name sake" I surely wouldn't think that is "life more abundantly"

but................me likely the actual devil.................will a lot........

that god is going to do HIS MOST MIGHTIEST WORK EVER IN ETERNITY IN MY LIFE SHORTLY................

I know this

I literally know my future

I know I'm going to soon be stinking rich like I know it

and popular

the 2 often go hand in hand

EVEN THE BIBLE SAYS SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but if the #1 thing in the body of christ is indeed money

I would think not loving money would be the "goal" 

having money

but not loving it

having friends because you have money - but not loving money 

but being glad you have money so that you have friends 

the currently nearly friendless........................

tootles

World Central Kitchen, Inc

https://www.paypal.com/US/fundraiser/charity/1389363

this charity evidentally is getting a ton of supplies to gaza cause this was in my inbox.....................

  

(AS IF IT EVEN MATTERS MINI ME - women are 2nd class citizens THE ENTIRE BODY OF CHRIST - this is sheri 2025 speaking here in her "permanent villian era" because I'm tired of not being treated good AS I SHOULD BE)Told today by the main you tube song person of the Apostolic Christian Church of America, that "I just wanted to let you know that you are always welcome to come to our Church and become a member. I am sorry to hear that you feel like you and your grandma weren’t welcome." That sentence got me cocking my eyebrows so bad they both nearly fell off my face...................

(AS IF IT EVEN MATTERS MINI ME - women are 2nd class citizens THE ENTIRE BODY OF CHRIST - this is sheri 2025 speaking here in her "permanent villian era" because I'm tired of not being treated good AS I SHOULD BE)

someday things will change if enough women speak up that's been our problem this whole time women didn't speak up

now few of them are THAT'S GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!

Nobody and I mean 0% far as I know

in my husbands family goes to church hasn't for years

my family besides they might go occasionally for a christmas service, or once in a blue moon SAME

NOW THEY AIN'T TALKINNNNNNNNNNNNNN ABOUT BEING VERBALLY ASSAULTED AT CHURCH AND RUNNING TO THE BATHROOM CRYING like I have on my blog (that only happened to me at the apostolic christian church of america several times, and then my husband refused to quit going to that church but he denies it.............so I cooked up the plot to try and become a member of the apostolic christian church of america I didn't know the elder would just chew me out for damn must've been 30 minutes straight me crying on the church floor him just saying again and again and again "I'm the worst ever" and me saying "but why????????????" and him not replying just keeping on saying "your the worst ever" all loud and hatefully........................

my point is they ain't "speaking up"

but they sorta are by NOT GOING TO CHURCH AND WHEN IS THE CHURCHES GOING TO CARE??????????? GOING TO LISTEN TO WHAT THEY ARE SAYING BY NOT GOING TO CHURCH ANYMORE????????????????????????????????

  Blessed Be Apostolic Christian Church of America 

may Jesus Christ our Lord accept your repentances 

and usher you into his beloved and may you dwell in green pastures for all the days of your lives. 

I put a video at before we get into this blog post, cause I Do not wish in any way shape or form to judge the apostolic christian church of america or nobody. 1 Corinthians 4:5 "Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord come, who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise of God."

Philippians 3:3 "For we are the circumcision, which worship God in the spirit, and rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh." - I believe having confidence in the flesh is very bad, and I avoid that at all costs. Cause that in the past = pride big time for me. Told today by the main you tube song person of the Apostolic Christian Church of America, that "I just wanted to let you know that you are always welcome to come to our Church and become a member. I am sorry to hear that you feel like you and your grandma weren’t welcome." That sentence got me cocking my eyebrows so bad they both nearly fell off my face...................
 Last time I checked I'm smothered in bright makeup and costume jewelry and they hate that stuffs!!!!!!!!!!!
  I told him in reply...................

 I believe your church does believe itself to be the holy elect of god on the earth..........are you not the holy elect of god chad better then us all as I sang???????????? You and your church, the perfect holy mighty better then us all Apostolic Christian church of america. The holy elect body of christ on the earth?????

your flawless, you need the earth to worship you, 

it's ok to admit it, 

sheri

 Matt thank god isn't attacking me right now, I needed a break from that. But he got me thinking about how even if you don't have a super great life, and aren't a flawless and awesome as the Apostolic Christian Church of America and you....................wear costume jewelry and bright makeup.....................

Proverbs 16:19 "Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud."

   I actually don't need the "spoil" of the holy elect of god Apostolic Christian church of america..................I'm better off not flawless like them adorned in splendor upon the earth like they are. 

 I'm not saying apostolic christian church of america people's are witches at all.............no,They are so perfect and above us all the apostolic christian church of america, they could never NEVER be tainted by bright makeup, or costume jewelry that stuffs is beneath them 

The stuffs of a harlot headed to hell!

But anyways the scene where the guy who decided for god..................

he ended up with the perfect life afterall................

 I'm working up to something here, if your told you have no friends, and no life and you live a sad sorrowful life to be pitied, like matt a member of the apostolic christian church of america that supposedly "loved" me for weeks with whilst using a fake e-mail address and basically a fake identity (he still claims he's 51..............but my parents both worked in prison sort of jobs, for years, and so I know how to do a full out FBI agent style e-mail search on ANY e-mail address for free and find out a whole lotta info................and tons of photo's flashed up on the screen blurred, but of matt and his apostolic christian church of america wife, and they were in their 20's tops. I come from a family that is well "knowledged" in how to look up people's backgrounds etc.  My mom was the main prison record keeper of the state of Arizona for awhile...............I know how to search a persons identity ---------- all I need is one e-mail address............bogus ones fine them work FBI skills right here 😁

  If your life me as, Matt told me I directly quote "You must lead a very sad and lonely life"

That's fantastic your not "dividing the spoil of the proud" then!

John 10:10 "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." Amen the writer of John 10:10.

Love for all even the Apostolic Christian Church of America that pry wants to dice up my body in teeny pieces and put it in a bag and dump it in the desert and then pray that I get eaten. 

there ain't no meat in god's house right now people on tiktok are calling christian churches asking for formula and most of them are saying "sorry"

Malachi 3:10 "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."

Samaritan's Purse

"Samaritan's Purse is a nondenominational evangelical Christian organization providing spiritual and physical aid to hurting people around the world. Since 1970, Samaritan's Purse has helped meet needs of people who are victims of war, poverty, natural disasters, disease, and famine with the purpose of sharing God's love through His Son, Jesus Christ. The organization serves the church worldwide to promote the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ."

https://www.paypal.com/US/fundraiser/charity/6776

I am shocking most of the world right now by saying this but god gave us muscles for a reason...........................sheri 2025 interjecting in her permanent villian era - ya myself from 2018 god gave us muscles to lift up them blazers that have the right cut to them and put them in the cart at the goodwill outlet!!!!!!!...........................

I am shocking most of the world right now by saying this but god gave us muscles for a reason...........................sheri 2025 interjecting in her permanent villian era - ya myself from 2018 god gave us muscles to lift up them blazers that have the right cut to them and put them in the cart at the goodwill outlet!!!!!!!...........................

sheri 2025 is tired of being made fun of by people and being attacked often very badly..............very much believe how one looks could help one be treated better!!!!!!!!!.......................And I think wearing all this "old money" esque clothing will help me feel better....................feel more confident!!!!!!!!!!!.................

another "find" today at goodwill outlet.................

how I dressed today which is employing the old money look with items already in my closet.........

but today I like filled a entire cart at goodwill outlet - I don't often do that

with stuffs that matched the rule in this video............

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxeBkLMQyKU

And it was so easy to do, but a lot for my brain and my brain nearly malfunctioned. 

(remembering all them fashion rules and clocking everything you see instantly whether it fits the rules or not ----------- fries brains fast 🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠)

and then I put in a box all the things in my closet - almost few things I like to much even though they don't follow "the rules" ---------- but a lot of the things that aren't "old money" I put in a box to donate

which all that clothing will be perfect for a younger person

blog post from 2018...................................

diet alone never works (or hardly ever, for most people diet alone is not going to work!)
  Your going to need to excersize most likely (unless you have some eternal liquid diet that is "on point" all the time). And god didn't make none of us with the idea that we'd be obese and live 2nd rate lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! John 10:10 "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."
   God gave us muscle I know how shocking this is for some of society to read this! So that you would lift weights, so that we alllllllllllll would lift weights and not have to eat salads every single day of our lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So that we could have lots of muscle and some "splurge days" LIFE MORE ABUNDANTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!
 My husband has told me he doesn't like lifting weights, he don't appear to believe in that stuffs. And he's promised me he's about to go on a diet -------- but that diet isn't going to be enough in the 18+ years we've been married most of them years he's been obese, most the time all the time I'd argue those diets WEREN'T ENOUGH!
  Diet is something, and I applaud that much for those of you that do that............but that don't work!
  For all of us.....................you want to live a quality life, you need to work for that, not just diet, excersize to!!!!!! Walk, run, please lift weights. 
 Elder of the apostolic christian church of america told me he deemed weight lifting potentially vain.........but it isn't we all need to get that out of our heads.
 obesity is real
it is a real epidemic
people are dyeing everyday from it

weight lifting could help most all of us!

(diet is helpful to, I ain't knocking diet, but alone it's not in most instances enough unless you are on a "on point" liquid diet.........and most dieters aren't on a "on point" liquid diet)

and/or you ain't probably going to buy jenni craig or weight watchers forever

you ain't

most ain't

maybe a few rich people

but most people ain't going to buy jenni craig or weight watchers without end for the rest of their lives

no you going to need to work out

you need to work out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

probably lift weights

Oregon Food Bank

https://www.paypal.com/US/fundraiser/charity/1427607

Haven't bought nothing for weeks, so I'm back to saved and doin good Galatians 5:24 "And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.".............my life's back to being more abundanntly hahahhahahahahhahah......................lost my mind a touch...........sorry............................

Sheri 2/5/2024 is impressed that sheri 7/27/16 was thinking like I do these days. Life "more abundantly" has to include more life

vacations

fun clothing (if not name brand cause bible poo poo's that - AT LEAST fun clothing)

but 

I do think tiny houses are cool

and definately believe somedays that "less" can definately be more

--------------

but the "consurmerism machine" that is the united states of america - runs off of good christian folk going and buying a ton of stuff they pry don't even need. 

meanwhile

there's some tiny house folk

or large house but living tiny folk

WINNING

if you think this song choice is "off brand" for me, since your new to my blog

I live on a small farm have ducks and chickens

I spent a decent chunk of my childhood, walking up arizona mountainside with one my best friends and her prized pet goat and horse back riding, and petting my pet rabbits

I've lived on many farms - my dad had a tree farm

I've been to several oakridge boys concerts

and I LIKE ALAN JACKSON

👍👍👍👍👍👍

(latest painting mixed media - marker, watercolors, ink)

Haven't bought nothing for weeks, so I'm back to saved and doin good Galatians 5:24 "And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.".............my life's back to being more abundanntly hahahhahahahahhahah......................lost my mind a touch...........sorry. And ya I believe your name can be blotted out of the book of life that getting baptised doesn't guarantee nothin Revelation 3:5 "He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels."
  I don't fully understand how being not able to buy 0% is life more abundantly. John 10:10 "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." I've struggled with that idea for years now just quietly.
  What I can't desire to buy nothin and need to buy pretty near nothin (cept like groceries and occasionally fresh dud's 1 Timothy 6:8 "And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.") and this is supposed to be a fantastical abundant life. In my mind.........if I could go to a store and buy 80% that place that's life abundant in my mind.

https://www.donorschoose.org/

Mrs. Stinchon's classrooms fundraiser is now fully funded 😁 But there are many more classrooms with many more needs at Donors Choose...............

I believe jesus came that we could own things.....have life more abundantly. I believe god wants us to be happy and he loves us........................

Update 10/3/2023 my "extreme asthma" was worse working out on the treadmill last night. Put all my zebra isopods in their new Ikea bin 😁 (it was $4.99) and then I'm also going to have a bin hopefully soon of cow Isopods, and maybe even some Panda's 😁..................

At the moment I am watching "Reptillian" think it's called on Netflix............seems to be a cult in this movie and/or show not sure which, that meet at a church and they are lizard people......................or that's what I'm estimating. NO HATE FOR LIZARD PEOPLE -------- if lizard people are real. We all space aliens in my estimation. 

 I believe jesus came that we could own things.....have life more abundantly. I believe god wants us to be happy and he loves us.
 At the portland apostolic christian church of america today the "guest pastor" mentioned that he sometimes puts value to money (but I ain't sure if that is always bad if you are saving up to do good..................you could save up money to do good in countless ways.)

  And also.......................there is a problem with being "city" I find, if you are a city dweller, all there is to save up your money for in a "earthly sense" if you know your going by actual objects.................

cars

boats

lawn mowers maybe riding lawn mowers

  I told my husband on the drive home, god made us to be cowgirls and cowboys...........................this "city" buisiness, people's be's involved in these days...................................

god made cows, pigs, sheep, goats, chickens...........stuffs to make rope to rope a goat or sheep or a bull......................

the devil wants to steal kill and destroy from you...................he don't want you owning 0 or even being able to dream to buy 0

in reality......................

you need this..........................(I'm joking some people I know don't have that much of a sense of humour so I bestest put in this claus)

you need this.................(still joking)

ya sheep and chickens : ) 

Your lives might be stinky and diminished right now...................

But I am here to proclaim to you on this here day of thanksgiving that jesus came that you would have life and more abundantly................

John 10:10 "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."
Not like buy as much as solomon that was preached today....(this isn't the exact verse mentioned today just one highlighting all the buisiness solomon owned...........this cowgirl is pretty well saying hey few chickens and a hopefully owning a sheep soon  I AIN'T NO SOLOMON YET)...
1 Kings 4:21-23 "And Solomon reigned over all kingdoms from the river unto the land of the Philistines, and unto the border of Egypt: they brought presents, and served Solomon all the days of his life. And Solomon's provision for one day was thirty measures of fine flour, and threescore measures of meal, Ten fat oxen, and twenty oxen out of the pastures, and an hundred sheep, beside harts, and roebucks, and fallow deer, and fatted fowl."

I ain't even sure god had a issue with all solomons goods!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........1 Kings 11:9-11 "And the Lord was angry with Solomon, because his heart was turned from the Lord God of Israel, which had appeared unto him twice, And had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods: but he kept not that which the Lord commanded. Wherefore the Lord said unto Solomon, Forasmuch as this is done of thee, and thou hast not kept my covenant and my statutes, which I have commanded thee, I will surely rend the kingdom from thee, and will give it to thy servant."
   Seems to me it was more solomons heart that he stopped putting god 1st in his life, and he went and he chased after...........other things "his heart was turned from the lord god of isreal".
  The things of life they did take a premenince in solomons life, and surely that "danger" of accumulating worldly goods is there...........I think you'd have to buy a lot though, you'd have to own a lot, like I ain't no where near owning all solomon did...................."ten fat oxen" you know how hard it would be to take care of "ten fat oxen" ------------------ forget that! I'M A COWGIRL BUT I DIDN'T DONE LOOSE MY MIND!
   But I don't think the way to play things in life is to be like.............."ok now I won't buy nothing and give all my money to the poor, so that I never get to being like solomon"
I believe jesus wants us to have things in life some things.............not to many pry. If you going to have "life more abundantly" for reals.............................your pry going to own some things of this world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Some sheep and chickens probably!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
   It's bestest none us buy a boat right a big ridiculous expensive boat..................that's "pride of life" buisiness. There are things on this earth that I believe god clean wants us to have!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  The devil don't want me buyin a sheep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But this cowgirl sure does believe god does!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 What I made and put on my pinterest today, don't know if anyone has done this before?????????? They might of?????????...............I enjoy recycling stuffs and saving it from the landfill (I spray painted the outside the container, then modge podged on old sheet music, spliced a tube and glued it to the top, and glued on flowers walla cute container --------- I'M TOTALLY DOING THIS AGAIN)

Happy Thanksgiving Earth! 

I clean know I'm blessed by god a slew and I am definately thankful. 

LOVE

Mr. Santana's classrooms fundraiser is now fully funded 😊 But there are many more classrooms with many more needs at Donors Choose........................

I not smiling in this pic but was tired and it was like 1 a.m. or later when this pic was taken (I like working out late at night).........................

Servants I think really do love the most....................

Update video 5/14/2022 (the latest on my husbands health post 2nd surgery)................

I lost recently exactly 17.6 lbs : ) I ain't no where near my goal weight but it's good to celebrate whatever victories you have in life! (part my front yard in this pick it's really pretty especially this time of year, near paradise!!!!!!!!!!!!!) 

 Servants I think really do love the most. This is more then a "going theory", Jesus was a servant Philippians 2:7 "But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:" Matthew 11:29 "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls." Why was Jesus "meek and lowly in heart" HE WAS A SERVANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     The kid who I have given a ear to "maston" said today..........his website http://thedailylove.com/.............."But the stuff, the form doesn’t freakin matter! What matters is who we are. What matters is how we show up. What matters is the place that we come from in our thoughts, ideas and communications. What matters is if we are serving or not.
   What matters is crucifying our egos day in and day out (not because it’s the enemy), but so our hearts can shine through." John 15:13 "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
   Satan he does come to kill and steal and destroy, for me in my life, the place he has in the past destroyed and killed the most -------- my love for people. I think a abundant life, is one where you aren't hating, or envying people, or gossiping, IT'S ONE OF LAYING DOWN YOUR LIFE OF LOVING PEOPLE. John 10:10 "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."
I had a friend back when I dragon boated, and he talked about his "legacy" that he wanted to leave a legacy - don't we all..........we don't want to die and be forgotten do any of us????????? Some people go about this "legacy" leaving stuffs by being a hard worker, and being dedicated to ones job WHICH IS A FAB PART OF ONES LEGACY, let's add love to that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I have in the past been greately "me" centered - and not considering if I was loving or serving people at the time -------- it was oh that person didn't do that for me, and that person didn't do that for me --------------- jesus didn't come to this earth that way.............HE CAME TO SERVE, HE CAME TO LOVE John 3:30 "He must increase, but I must decrease."

Psalm 41:1 "Blessed is he that considereth the poor: the Lord will deliver him in time of trouble.".................

LOVE

confessions of a tortured soul a addict not drugs I'm addicted to but a addict................

Update 4/8/2024 Don't worry about me america, I know you are all starving right now - I'm not joking I'm fully being serious (where I live there might be more homeless then people in houses, and then the people in houses ARE ALSO STARVING WHERE I LIVE MANY OF THEM). Things are so bad where I live, most summers schools have "free lunch programs" where I live!!!!!!  

https://www.clarkcountyfoodbank.org/

what my fridge looks like 

hey but go to a foodbank ok today GET FOOD you need to eat!!!!!!!!

it's a touch of a mess at the moment

this is basically what my fridge always looks like condiment city

the pantry actually looks better

I suvive off of eating potatoes - OH FOR REAL and rice

Millions of US women, children risk hunger without more aid funding, White House says

https://www.reuters.com/world/us/millions-us-women-children-risk-hunger-without-more-aid-funding-white-house-says-2024-01-11/

america according to the cnbc video above is 22nd country in the world as far as starvation goes with you know the number 1 ranked country being the most hungry - we high up in the ranks in america with starvation!!!!!!!!! FOR REAL REAL

This blog post was written before, I solved my problem. I have since solved my big problem in life........(ya I went "cross and skullbones" for the lord edition in the year 2013 😁👍💓💓💓💓💓💓💓) 
  I am a addict no doubt about it, not to drugs but a addict to something!!!!!!!!!!! YIKES, that this song is apparently having to do with recovery, fitting..........
"All of my devils are free at last
And all my secrets revealed
And your permission is all I
Need to heal"

   A person can stay in the sickness, or get better!!!!!!!!!!!!! I relate to these lyrics from sixx a.m. song to.............

"I wake up in the morning, and it comes back to you I breathe in I breathe out, it comes back to you
I stare up at the ceiling, and it comes back to you
I step out my front door, and it comes back to you
The end of my driveway, it comes back to you
Brakelights on the highway, it comes back to you
I could die in Los Angeles.
It would come back to you."

  Comes back to god for me, look up at the ceiling - yep. breathe in breathe out - yep. I'm a addict. Stoppings so hard. 

  I think non-addicts, ya they have issues and pain, but they must have like some coping mechanism -------- we don't have!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not doing drugs....................naw my addiction is elsewhere................................same result I get from it................removes me from the earth......................I go somewhere else. Far away from here, from reality, this place where people die, and people sin and like don't care and like are like much many going to hell they don't care, a place of pain pain pain, even the saints experience pain, so much pain................makes a person just want to check out (I'm saying it's not so crazy the idea of someone wanting to go to a bar for instance and drink til they can't see straight)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went to like 1 AA style meeting and pry should like go to more, realizing I have a addiction.............that's pry worse then drugs. And I also realize that I could go into using drugs with ease.................I'm in continual danger of that.............being already in that mindset. But I don't think any drug would get me, where my addiction gets me..............I'm sayin my addiction get's me higher then any drug would a actual high. Here I am I want to stop, and I still catch myself doing it - well it's a addiction then...............you can't just stop often cold turkey................all sorts of underlying issues that put you in that addict diseased sort of mindset to begin with. 

   Can't even enjoy life in it...........life more abundantly John 10:10 "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." Freakin smell the flowers! I've like tried to say on my blog that drugs are from the devil he comes to steal and kill and to destroy. Jesus wants you to have life, a abundant life, a happy life, not one in a tortured little dark hole.

  I might go to more AA meetings............trying to set up some counseling right now (god needs to work with me here)........to get better ya gotta all talk it out n'stuffs I know. """"""""if you work it, it'll work for you""""""""" 

  I have gotten good at hiding it skilled in it, crazy skilled. Isaiah 29:15 "Woe unto them that seek deep to hide their counsel from the LORD, and their works are in the dark, and they say, Who seeth us? and who knoweth us?" Least I fess up to god, He's watching, He's see's, anything you alls be's doing in the dark He sees!!!!!!!!!!!! Bestest ya go fesser up!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

  No snort He don't notice, none under the radar.  mourn, mourn that's my new thing mourning Ecclesiastes 7:4 "The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth."

  Locked myself up in jesus's jail real good, threw away the key, threw it away GONE..............so that's the good news : ) see I ended this blog post on a real cheery note : ) maximum security. 

black roses, black roses, black roses, black roses, black roses, black roses, black roses, black roses, black roses, black roses, black roses, black roses,