Video vlog post: Whether I am exalted or abased is it not god that did that to me???????????????.........................

Update 9/15/2023 the under the window area of our garage is looking extra nice now 😁........................

(my parents think I look sad in this video, I'm not sad, what I am at the moment is bit hot, bit tired out - that's all...................full of hope, and love, and hope for this here earth - bowels of mercies to ya lots them - cause I show mercy then people show me mercy so this is good! God wants us to love one another be fruitful have bowels of mercies towards one another.........Colossians 3:12 "Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;")

Things I noted yesterday at church................

I noted at one point one the pastors, Mike was talking about how the humble would be exalted and the proud would be abased this verse Luke 18:14 "I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted." The guest pastor appear to be leaning low and starring at me with

that look that said "common fool, you know you've been up to stuffs to wazuu" (as if I had tried on purpose to exalt myself -- which I have in the past, but lot the time I'm not trying to exalt myself at all..............Hebrews 13:16 "But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.")

the mindset I'm mostly of these days concerning my status whether that be I'm abased or exalted or both at the same time (both at the same time I fully recogn).........................

who am I to exalt myself

or who am I to abase myself

whether exalted or abased is it not god that did that to me? 

Philippians 4:12 "I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need."
   If I abounded fantastically..............it was because god enabled me to. If I were abased, that's because god wants me there to, his will, will be done perfectly in my life nomadder what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm fully trusting in god either way, nomadder what, not even worried about it really. 
  Way I see it the thing for me to work to do has always been the same and always will be the same......................1 Peter 5:5-6 "Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:" Long as I humble myself under the mighty hand of god keep doin that, if I am not exalted by god yet ------------- I will be eventually I know this to be the case!
  And the grace of god being with the humble, so surely humility is the thing, which if I'm lowly to wazuu I THANK GOD FOR THAT! 
  I am weak, I am weak like paul is weak who knew how to both abound and "suffer need"
Also noted today, a brother looked at me in some kind of agony the 2nd half of the service - which I like that..................not the agony part the worry the care that brother appeared to have for me.
  A pastor from portland retired, only 1 pastor now at portland, it's weirded me out. Many the churches I went to as a kid, pastors didn't retire, they preached til they died, and then their sons took over, and then their sons took over when they died etc. Also I'm a fan of billy graham, and I clean saw him pretty well near giving a sermon while laying in bed sick, he's clean 95 (I don't know if he's giving sermons no more but I imagine billy graham hasn't fully "retired" cause he's still like alive basically)
  I don't get to retire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 Peter 5:8 "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:" It's rons choice and he made it and I know that and I'm going to have to accept this he's good and "retired"!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  Clean 3 pastors have retired while I've been attending the apostolic christian church of america, at the portland church. I guess billy graham has pry retired pastors do retire, 3 though is just a lot pry, it's a lot and I'm not used to that immense of a pastor turn over in a church.

LOVE