my dad can't understand me wanting to be mericiful towards people he told me on the phone today he didn't teach me that...................

Update video 4/15/2022 - at beginning of video I thank my parents for the gift they sent me 😁..............

my dad can't understand me wanting to be mericiful towards people he told me on the phone today he didn't teach me that...................and he didn't he taught me to "stick up for myself" don't let myself be kicked around or mistreated....................here's the thing though.......................................
I think you can stick up for yourself, don't let yourself be mistreated
AND
show mercy
I told my parents, and I told mike, ron, john and my aunt connie, I had to post up the last blog post and say something........................if nobodies sitting by me and I'm actually feeling left out and unloved etc. etc. like that SPEAK UP........................my dad is telling me that's it I should completely not have mercy with the apostolic christian church of america over last sunday alone walk away from them never go back.
  This all plays into my childhood to...........................my family lived the longest in laveen arizona and there was a neighborhood bully named Kathy Lee..................and she ambushed my best friend at the time told her she was going to whoop her butt, and I had a tennis racket in my hand and I told kathy lee that if she dared touch my friend I was clean going to kill her with that tennis racket --------- SHE BACKED DOWN!
  Then she like just came up to me after I got off the bus and said I am going to fight her, like she didn't leave me no option..........so I fought her...................and as far as the neighborhood was concerned I won. So then I became the "toughest girl in school" once a week ONCE A WEEK kids were challenging me to fights wanting to take over my title..................................................here's where "sticking up for yourself" went south..............................................all that power all that whatever went right to my head..............I didn't want to hurt kids no instead I ran them all around the school yard silly til they were real good and tired and then I kicked them to the ground stuffed grass in their mouths put my feet on their chests and waved....................................
there was no winning in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is no win in fighting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
people get hurt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 Kathy Lee wasn't as fortunate as me....................she died.............................in a car accident (she can't go pray to god and ask for forgiveness)...............and there are people on this earth you can know pretty well they are in hell..................I think about her sometimes burning in hell (she clean used to knock the teeth out of kids younger then her in my neighborhood ---------- I NEVER LIKED IT AND I LET HER KNOW)
  There's winning in forgiving!!!!!!!!! There's winning in having mercy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Further I think that nothing is permanent no bad "situation" is permanent....................Romans 12:21 "Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good."
  I know my dad, he thinks showing mercy like on the karate kid movie is a sign of weakness I going to throw my fave karate kid song in this blog post just cause : ) showing mercy isn't a thing of weakness............................it is instead a show of immense strength. Did the karate kid loose in this movie no..................at the end of the original karate kid even the "bad guy" kid right hugs him and says YOU WON THIS DANIEL WAY TO GO! Cause daniel sun didn't sweep the leg...............he wasn't out for blood. He gained respect, HE WON AND EVEN IF HE DIDN'T WIN, HE STILL WON CAUSE HE FOUGHT FAIR HE FOUGHT RIGHT. I pretty sure I have a point? If you do the right thing you do win, EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T WIN! This ain't the exact verse I'm looking for but it'll work in a pinch......Proverbs 11:17 "The merciful man doeth good to his own soul: but he that is cruel troubleth his own flesh." And as I told my aunt and 3 pastors today I don't want to "sweep the leg" anymore, I want to be the karate kid : )

Psalm 41:1 "Blessed is he that considereth the poor: the Lord will deliver him in time of trouble." - all I've known is trouble, I ain't been delivered from none of it........there's people actively saying that I am evil right now RIGHT NOW. 

  And there's nobody stopping them from greately slandering my name FREAKING EVERYWHERE. 

(I swear to God I do swear to god that I am the Starbucks queen, 

and god ain't defending me

he ain't 

crickets)