I ain't saying that I am "sex trafficked" but past few years things have been so bad for me, they've gotten so bad...............I have been sitting around scratching my head pondering --- what if I am sex trafficked right now?????????????? Cause it don't seem like a "loving marriage" to me - I've just been put down yelled at, chewed out, on and on for 26 years! And brian did get violent once at a grocery store he grabbed my wrist hard and I didn't say I wasn't willing to go get my own bananas, we were pretty far away from the banana's and I just recogned we'd swing by past the banana's when we were at the other end up the store at the end ------- he really hard grabbed my wrist raised his voice mega loud and said "get your own bananas"...............................

me a few days ago like 2 days ago at a park.................we been walking everyday..............

Update brian says he's been treating me badly because he is insecure about his weight. So we are going to the store to try and buy more healthy shiz. But I told him, his soup diet though it works is high in sodium and he might die of a heart attack on that diet with sodium daily levels of 1400+ a day that ain't good for people's health! He says he ain't going to do a soup diet and look like a aids patient like he did before (it's the only diet that ever worked for him the soup diet - he don't have aids, but on the soup diet he ends up looking like he's dieing of aids BAD). I told him, if when he looks like he's dieing of aids bad like last time...........his family is going to get all concerned and everyone is going to get so concerned like last time and he's going to go off the soup diet and gain all the weight back again.....................he's been on this "soup diet" loop for a long time now we know how it goes. 

he is sure this time he's doing the soup diet different

but then I told him

drink the psyillium husk fiber - THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING 

cause you have a large stomach if you overweight

the psyillium husk fills your stomach up -------- much like soup would but without all the sodium to give you a heart attack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(he don't want to do psyillium husk it don't look like)

 I ain't saying that I am "sex trafficked"  but past few years things have been so bad for me, they've gotten so bad...............I have been sitting around scratching my head pondering --- what if I am sex trafficked right now?????????????? Cause it don't seem like a "loving marriage" to me - I've just been put down yelled at, chewed out, on and on for 26 years! And brian did get violent once at a grocery store he grabbed my wrist hard and I didn't say I wasn't willing to go get my own bananas, we were pretty far away from the banana's and I just recogned we'd swing by past the banana's when we were at the other end up the store at the end ------- he really hard grabbed my wrist raised his voice mega loud and said "get your own bananas"...............................

https://www.lovejustice.ngo/blog/how-do-i-know-if-im-being-trafficked

this site says you could've been trafficked AND NOT EVEN KNOW IT............

the "red flags" that I relate to..........from "love justice international"............besides I wasn't a minor when proposed to..................but was proposed to after only dating brian for 1 month................

""""""----- Someone has proposed to me, even though we’ve only known each other a few weeks or even though I'm a minor.
------ My significant other becomes angry and/or violent with me if I refuse to do something I’m asked.
------- Someone has taken my cell phone or otherwise isolated me from my friends/family.
---------- I work a job, but I don’t get to keep the profits. Someone else keeps the profit and pays for my needs.""""""
  The last "red flag"  to me all the money going into one place makes sense, cause your married your supposed to contribute money, your not supposed to have your own money really, your supposed to work - put out - and pay bills. aka be a submissive wife like the bible talks about

If I ever got one of my paychecks and had my own money

and my own money in my own bank account

I'd be free then

I'd be a real free modern  might as well be single at that point lady with my own freedom

  Bible says to be submissive which looks to be the bible is saying I must be abused always!!!!!!!!!!!! Cause if you with someone even sometimes abusive and your submissive, submit type, submitting YOUR GOING TO BE BADLY ABUSED PROBABLY!

  But that is pleasing to god. He wantts women to submit it's right there in the bible....................

Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."
Colossians 3:18 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord."
  When the bible says "submit" it ain't meaning the husbands are being kind and nice to you!!!!!!!!!!!! It means they are raising their voices at you and yelling at you much and maybe even threatening divorce and/or your life ------------- that's normal life ain't it?????????????????????????

  I recall when I was a kid my parents fighting pretty often!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS NORMAL LIFE FOR ME. 

I tried hard to marry a guy without a temper like that. 

failed

  But also my car brian sold my car, and it was a precious car to me - like 2-3 years ago he did. And he used to let me drive by myself places, he don't let me drive by myself places anymore at all ever. 

  I can't drive well our current car anyways 

I'm used to driving smaller cars

 The bigger cars weird me out, I find they are harder to park etc. etc. 

  And he blocked many my family from being able to e-mail me. 

but my family isolated me from them

my family moved away from me 24 or so years ago

I don't have friends

I don't have anywhere to go

I go for walks I go tthe gym that's became my life

last night brian chewed me out he loves the most to raise his voice MASSIVE in grocery stores, 

that's when he get's physically violent with me in grocery stores and really mad at me

him putting me down in quiet behind the scenes isn't pleasing to his soul

he got all mad when I was suggesting he buy more yoga clothing telling him how much I think the yoga clothing looks better on him, and also more appropriate since how he never goes into work anymore he works from home

and he said

something like mega loud to let the whole store know what a piece of shit I am.............

"QUIT IT, I LIKE DRESSING IN DRESS SHIRTS EVERYDAY THIS IS MY FASHION AND HOW I LIKE TO DRESS"

...............I don't think I'm actually safe

I don't blame me for wanting to be loved

I wasn't wrong for wanting to be loved

..................................I just looks to be have the worst luck ever

and I'm 100% I don't have "church" like we go to the united methodist church

but I don't have friends there

and I'm pretty sure

when I get out of the car and they ring the bell near everytime

that it's them warning each other that sheri that crazy lady that loves the devil and his men is at church this week

...................................it feels like a "warning bell" to me

I DON'T THINK I'M ANYTHING BUT HATED AND GOSSIPED ABOUT GREATELY ON THIS EARTH

"sheri what do you expect you love satan and his men and god/jesus"

well I'm just letting you know my plight is real

maybe I am sex trafficked or trafficked I AIN'T SURE

I LITERALLY AIN'T SURE??????????????????

brian says he should treat me better

how sad is usa if it's full of abused women cause their men are obese and taking out their frustrations on their womens!!!!!!!!!!!!

usa is the most miserable place to live on earth it looks to be!!!!!!!!!

how miserable that according to brian he's treated me very badly due to his being obese

THAT'S HORRIBLE

I DESERVE A NORMAL LOVING RELATIONSHIP