Having to worry all the time when the next time a family member is going to call us up on the phone or e-mail us chewing us out for their lord jesus chrsit and threatening to sue us - it's to stressful for me. I need like to be out of my family.........................their threaten to sue everyone for their lord jesus christ way of practicing christianity is to stressful for me!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S TO STRESSFUL FOR ME!!!!!!!!!
where's the chill people
the people that won't stalk your blog waiting to threaten to sue you for their lord jesus christ
where's those people?????????????????????????? Can you be friends with me?????????
"People that love being with you, that can't wait to see you" -------------------- THEM I AM AFTER..........................
not me having to "perform"
but be myself me being able to be myself
joel is so right
joel is soooooooooooooooooooooooo right
this might be my favorite sermon ever of joel osteens
once I used to get bitter and offended - not anymore
my story
my purpose
isn't most people's
so very few god would bring to me it stands to reason
one day
and I've said this before on my blog
I was at a christian retreat, and my best friends for the most part ditched me to hang out with a christian boy band
and I was all alone
and like 2-3 kids from our camp came up to me and asked if they could sit with me - I said sure
and we had the best time
those kids were from a whole nother church then my church
but god did give me friends HE SURE DID
...........I just got to wait
off to sauna
out of that over 6 million blog views and it's more then that because those are "hard clicks" and my husband one day looked to see on how many off the feeds my blog is on............now it might've changed by now...........but when he looked I was on the bulk of the main feeds.
it's not about how much traffic I have
or likes
or how many likes or views you have either
all things work together for the good...............................
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
ok off to sauna
Don't read rambling got to get it off my chest................................
As I've stated before my family left me 23 or so years ago, long ago they moved away from me (besides a few relatives that live 1 1/2 hour drive away - not many, big sister who didn't live with us I didn't know of her existance til I was 3 years old and then we lived in arizona 7 years and so I clean wasn't around her most of my childhood and rest of the years I've mostly only been around her at family get togethers and her kids the mega rare family get togethers her kids now adults show up, a aunt, and a cousin, maybe my brother I don't know where he lives he moved to salem but never invited me to his house once who knows looks like I destroyed his and his wifes lives as soon as I mentioned how many divorces he got him and his wife looks to be instantly were fired from their jobs addicted to meth and living lives of desperate prostitution on the streets THAT'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE HAPPENED)
uncles don't just threaten to sue their neice and nephew "for all they have" like my brother did less he's homeless and on meth and living a life of "desperate prostitution"
or his a-hole
but let's pretend they are on meth homeless living lives of "desperate prostitution"
they left me
and then my mom e-mailed me for years and years
and yes
I e-mailed my family for years and years and mostly it was just my mom the replied to my e-mails
maybe 1-2 e-mails per year PER YEAR from A-, A-, K-
I eventually wanted out of my family bad
cause well 2 have threatened to sue me
and my mom told me she's "tired of my bull-----------"
and my dad on the phone I think the last time I talked to my parents on the phone years ago he told me I broke the family a part and that it was all my fault
well who wants to stay in a family where the family members threaten to sue me often and they all support that and they most of them treat me awefully
they never left my instagram
so I've had to log out on instagram ---------- they still were trying to text me often christian spam THEY NEVER LETTED ME LEAVE
but it's so stressful knowing
oh they are always watching my every blog post waiting to sue me again THAT'S SO MUCH STRESS I DON'T NEED OR WANT THAT STRESS IN MY LIFE
I need people around me that support me
that love me
really love me
not loving me to look "christian" ------- cause I know what they think, that they are such the great christians they havvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvve to keep me in the family
---------------- I'm not sure why they are so insistant
like I said
I need to no longer have to worry about being sued and that means me no longer in the family cause it's my family that likes and enjoys and lives to threaten to sue me twice now THAT'S A LOT.
---------------------------------- TOPIC TWO
I live on eggshells around brian, cause last time he drove me so out of my mind, I was freaking out had to leave the house so bad I was so out of my mind I tried to squeeze out a window way to small -------------------- when I found out I wasn't able to, I went ahead and walked past brian and ian.
brian accusing me of preaching to him
I wasn't
I was excited about a bible verse and he disagree'd with my interpretation and I was like no brian it literally says.............................AND I KNOW HOW TO READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO NO ---------- I WASN'T PREACHING TO HIM THAT ISN'T ME "SERMONING"
I ain't a preacher
I don't preach or try to preach
my blogs are more in the style of a "evangelist" most of the time ------ that's my "mo"
he was calling me trash garbage the worst ever that day and he says "dear" all the time but I know what he really thinks about me
he thinks I'm trash
because I dared to disagree with him on a bible verse that clearly was saying what I said it said cause there was 0% room for debate on that AND HE KNEW I WAS RIGHT CAUSE HE ALSO KNOWS HOW TO READ!!!!!!!! BUT HE WAS MAD AT ME BECAUSE I KNOW HOW TO READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I REFUSED TO BELIEVE THE VERSION OF THAT VERSE WHICH WASN'T EVEN THAT VERSE HE WAS TRYING TO TELL ME THAT VERSE SAID HE WAS TRYING TO TELL ME ENTIRELLY DIFFERENT WORDS THEN WHAT THAT VERSE SAID ---------------- what he was trying to tell me wasn't even close!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I KNOW HOW TO READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that isn't me trying to
upsurp authority I KNOW HOW TO READ
.......................................................................but fine if he's mad that I tried or did upsurp his authority that day
the way he bashed me drove me out of my mind so bad that day
ever since then I'm worried when's he going to bash me to hell next
but he's mostly in my corner.............
I mean we don't fight often
but when we do it's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad
love both my husbands if my memories are real......................
I don't always get along with lucifer
but it's different
he shook my hand
when the devil shakes your hand YOU CAN KNOW HE'S GOING TO HOLD TO THAT THAT WAS A BINDING CONTRACT OF SORTS.......................HE WON'T DERAIL FROM THAT
.................he touched my leg one day and all the stress melted from my body
I'm so stressed out right now
2025 in america is stressful
it's stressful
.................................
a island,
a alcholic or non alcoholic pina colada
the breeze hitting me, that nice summer island breeze
I need that
I need that badly and to no longer be eggshell walking
love both my husbands
but there's only 1 of the 2 that can acheive that I believe fully - lucifer
my brother told my husband he needs to "control his wife"
and many a guy is controlling
but brian and lucifer both know I need a little freedom
AT LEAST THE FREEDOM TO BLOG
maybe
many women are silenced by their men - that's so sad for them
you can hate lucifer if you want forever - but from my experience one handshake from him can make a persons life
one handshake from lucifer from my experience can MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE
cause he'll do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he ain't going to go back on that EVER FOR ALL OF ETERNITY
ps.............I pay the 33 cent processing fee everytime I donate to the church below that me and brian currently attend...............................
I am TRYING GOD
Malachi 3:10
Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.
He better deliver to else He's about to look REALLY BAD......................no hate for god, no, but if he don't bless me he's about to look like a cheap chump................................THE BIBLE SAYS TRY GOD....................................SO DON'T BE UPSET WITH ME SAYING THAT GOD MIGHT END UP LOOKING LIKE A "CHEAP CHUMP" THE BIBLE LITERAL SAYS TO TRY GOD! OR AS IT'S WORDED "PROVE ME NOW HEREWITH" ---------- OK GOD DON'T BE A "CHEAP CHUMP" THEN................................
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