I'm so happy I have so much stuff in my house I don't know how to clean my house anymore, and I don't want to buy anything because where would I put it and I don't want christmas gifts so the lords birthday is going to bum me out bad but I'LL TRY AND STAY HAPPY FOR JESUS. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."...................VIDEO OF HOUSE MESS I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO?????????????????????????? I AIN'T EVEN JOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.........................I DON'T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS I NEVER WANTED TO LIVE LIKE THIS BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AT ALL..............(brian tells me it's all my stuff and my fault, but problem is most of it AIN'T MY STUFF............besides whats in me and brian's bedroom that is my "zone")...................

new hair piece don't worry I still look abominable I KNOW IT! That's why I'm doomed in a sexless marriage because I'm so ugly. There's no "improvements" I can make to be "sexy enough" 

If I got looking like britney spears in her glory days - I'm still in a sexless marriage

brian isn't concerned about it

he thinks it's great and fine and plenty ok

he knows I have a libido, he also knows I'm a normal chick that would like to be told I'm pretty etc. showed affection --------- he don't care about any of that, long as he scores the 1 time a month when he's finally in the mood. 

pray that my brother can get a job I destroyed his opportunities to get jobs ever again according to him by mentioning how many times he got divorced on my blog..............it's really dire for him please pray. 

My brother told my husband on the phone that my mentioning how many times he's been divorced made it so he can't get a job

and that he is going to sue us and my kids and brian "for all we have" like not just me, he told my husband he's going to sue my kids to for all they have "for jesus" 

I guess he's homeless and his wife is homeless cause there's no way on just her paycheck they can afford their mortgage (they must be on meth, and are prostitutes on the streets now because you know I destroyed their lives)

I'm broke my brothers fired up to get $5 

but we need to pray for him and his wife, because if they can't get jobs anymore because I said how many times kevin was divorced on my blog that got them looks to be fired and homeless

so we should pray

 I'm so happy I have so much stuff in my house I don't know how to clean my house anymore, and I don't want to buy anything because where would I put it and I don't want christmas gifts so the lords birthday is going to bum me out bad but I'LL TRY AND STAY HAPPY FOR JESUS. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 "Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."...................VIDEO OF HOUSE MESS I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO?????????????????????????? I AIN'T EVEN JOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.........................I DON'T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS I NEVER WANTED TO LIVE LIKE THIS BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AT ALL..............(brian tells me it's all my stuff and my fault, but problem is most of it AIN'T MY STUFF............besides whats in me and brian's bedroom that is my "zone")...................

I didn't make my bed yet cause I went for a walk

and also 

I can see the dining room floor needs mopping I'm about to do that ok. 

I'm going to go mop the floor 

and pry upload a pic of mopped floor in the kitchen after I did it and post it on this blog post and hold myself accountable for as much cleaning as I am able to do

because no lie

most the house 

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO?????????????????????????????????????????????????

I DON'T KNOW?????????????????????????????

I FEEL BURIED ALIVE BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO NOT BE BURIED ALIVE??????????????????????????????????????

For years our house has been not great

but it's at it's worst now

before things weren't 100% but I wasn't feeling buried alive like I do now

and I wasn't feeling hopeless like I feel now

I felt oh I could gather up a few things to donate and things would look nice and we once were able to get the house looking nice

once that did happen

I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO CLEAN THIS HOUSE ANYMORE BESIDES BEING BURIED ALIVE????????????????

...............brian won't pay for a storage unit he won't even allow for us to have a maid so he you all best believe won't agree to put stuff in no storage unit

and sheds

we have 2 sheds already

so

..........................................

I LITERALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! 

don't want to buy nothing

besides food and clothing for brian and the kids

my will to live is 0

I only eat food cause if i don't that's suicide and I'm headed to hell

I don't want to live though

I'm miserable

I mean rejoicing always

cause while you have clean houses and can afford to buy things for the lusts of your fleshes 

I need to not receive even 1 christmas gift this christmas

there's no where for that christmas gift to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU ALL GOING TO HAVE TO KEEP THE ECONOMY GOING

I'M OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my nasty families lives destroying

and churches destroying

self 

and all lives on earth I have anniliated according to my haters

will go mop the kitchen floor

here I go

I swept the floor but brian mopped it, I told him I can do it......................(almost like he feels guilty, but he can't because he tells me all the time the mess is the house is all my fault and that it's all my fault he has no friends he says "he goes through what I go through" which is the same as saying I destroyed his life and his families lives and my families lives) 

off to go for another walk cause damn I'm fat.....................

uglg af but what can I do 

I can't afford plastic surgery and what sort of plastic surgery would I need????????????????????????

makeup is all I can do

this is all you get earth poke your eyeballs out now and save yourselves from my ugliness...........

I worked on the living room today, donated 2 boxes of stuff stuff a lot of it that I actually wanted, I've had to repeatedly donate shiz I want over the years 

I don't have space to keep nothing

if I buy anything get to glance at it 2-3 days before needing to donate it FOR REAL

And bought today like 2 packs of linoleum tiles - the square stick on type brian says those are his favorite. And he's about to linoleum tile the floor and fix it finally.