Christianity forces me to lie to people because I'm supposed to be happy and "doing good" and "ok" all the time I'M NOT OK I AIN'T BEEN FOR A LONG TIME AT ALL. Galatians 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith," My dad told me I broke up the family, and my mom told me I'm full of bulls----- I'm called a b------ or thought of as a b------- by everyone cause not all my posts are cheery enough, like 2 posts ago my model sister got onto me cause my post wasn't "cheery enough".......................

Went to the grotto yesterday my trans son loves the grotto, I mean he looooooooooooooooooooooooooooves that place............................

Got 2 charms

saint margaret 

and saint Maria Goretti

LOVE THOSE CHICKS 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

Christianity forces me to lie to people because I'm supposed to be happy and "doing good" and "ok" all the time I'M NOT OK I AIN'T BEEN FOR A LONG TIME AT ALL. Galatians 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith," My dad told me I broke up the family, and my mom told me I'm full of bulls----- I'm called a b------ or thought of as a b------- by everyone cause not all my posts are cheery enough, like 2 posts ago my model sister got onto me cause my post wasn't "cheery enough".......................

   I haven't had friends for years, really years and years, cause my 2 supposed best friends, I don't think they were real friends at all. You can tell!

   I kept being friends with them til one moved away and one turned out to be a looks to be career criminal though I never suspected that at all --------- her husband is a successful christian book author!!!!!!!!!! She goes to church all the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

   And before that, on the way to victoria canada with my dragon boat team I while napping they decided to talk about me, and I heard them saying "well she has kids and she's dragon boating 3 times a week she can't have friends" Me ------------- doing a activity to try and make friends

instead of me actually being able to make friends doing a activity that is supposed to get me friends and/or it's just a activity people do to make friends one of them................instead of me making friends.................

what I ended up with 

was a care full of ladies feeling bad for me that I don't have any friends ------------ but not willing to beeeeeeeeeeeeeee friends with me keep in mind 

just feeling bad for me

  They said they'd hang out with me to in canada, I most of the time walked around alone, didn't want to be "the pitied one" 

  I dragon boated 2 years after that and then gave up, gave up on trying to make friends. 

  This weekend a sister sat next to me at the methodist church one of the sunday school teachers, asked me what my hobbies were

I WASN'T EVEN ABLE REALLY TO ANSWER HER

IT STUMPED ME TO ALL HELL

that shouldn't be a hard question

shouldn't stump a person to all hell like that

I said kayaking (though I haven't kayaked for 2 years or more) 

and painting ---------- I don't even remember the last time I painted it's been so long

I've greatly like either lost the will to live and so have give up painting, or I'm to depressed something????????????????????

and then I was scrambling, talking to her about this park I want to kayak at, to make it seem like I REALLY HAVE A HOBBY

.........what I have

2 young adult kids 20+ years old neither them with drivers licenses

and every week

we both saturday and sunday

drive them around where they want to go

I don't have any say in what goes on in the weekends

I'm given "the scoop" 

not only for the weekends

everyday

brian comes into our room and tells me "the plans" for the day so that's every single day

I'm not ok

I'm not doing good

I hate haveing to lie to the pastor when he sometimes asks me "are you ok"????????

but according to christianity 

I'm absolutely supposed to lie

else I'm the worst abomination without the "fruit of the spirit" desperately hellbound

 Galatians 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,"