Confession I don't fear people, but they have destroyed my life a lot, it's real. In college while having amnesia, I had a crush on a Romanian guy NAMED ANOTHONY OH I'LL SAY HIS 1ST NAME GO LAUGH AT ME THEN WESTERN OREGON UNIVERSITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I even choose to paint with him in a giant room in advanced painting HAD NO IDEA TIL AFTER I GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE HEARING FROM 2 CURRENT COLLEGE STUDENTS THAT I WAS THE JOKE OF THE SCHOOL because they thought he was better looking then my APPARENTLY ugly butt. I HAD NO FRIENDS IN COLLEGE besides 2 friends from high school and my sisters best friends boyfriend only 1 of them did I hang out with in college, the other two briefly I'd chat with them. I HAD NO FRIENDS ALL THAT THAT ALL THOSE PEOPLE WERE HAH AHAHAHAH SHE'S SO UGLY IMPACTED ME, THE IMPACT WAS REAL AT ANY GIVE MOMENT PEOPLE CAN SPREAD AND THEY DO.........AND THEY DO.................I DO BELIEVE..............SPREAD SHIZ ABOUT ME PROBABLY EVERYONE'S LAUGHING AT ME AS USUAL. I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS RIGHT NOW BESIDES BRIAN AND MY KIDS THAT ALL I HANG OUT WITH I DIDN'T DO THAT TO MYSELF. In dragon boating started chatting it up with a girl I WAS GETTING HOPEFUL MAYBE I'M FINALLY MAKING A FRIEND ------------ I watch her go up to her group of friends and ask them "she's know's she ain't with us right???????????????" MY WHOLE LIFE NEARLY HAS BEEN "LIKE THAT" ME JUST KICKED OUT, KICKED OUT,, ISOLATED.............AND THEN MILLIONS OF PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TO THIS HERE BLOG NOT COMMENTING PROBABLY JUDGEING ME, LAUGHING AT ME................MAYBE EVEN HATING ME...............................MAYBE EVEN GETTING READY TO ATTACK ME HARD AGAIN SO I'M SUICIDAL AGAIN CAUSE CHRISTIANS LOVE TO DO THAT TO ME FOR THEIR LORD JESUS CHRIST..........................

Confession I don't fear people, but they have destroyed my life a lot, it's real. In college while having amnesia, I had a crush on a Romanian guy NAMED ANOTHONY OH I'LL SAY HIS 1ST NAME GO LAUGH AT ME THEN WESTERN OREGON UNIVERSITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I even choose to paint with him in a giant room in advanced painting HAD NO IDEA TIL AFTER I GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE HEARING FROM 2 CURRENT COLLEGE STUDENTS THAT I WAS THE JOKE OF THE SCHOOL because they thought he was better looking then my  APPARENTLY ugly butt. I HAD NO FRIENDS IN COLLEGE besides 2 friends from high school and my sisters best friends boyfriend only 1 of them did I hang out with in college, the other two briefly I'd chat with them. I HAD NO FRIENDS ALL THAT THAT ALL THOSE PEOPLE WERE HAH AHAHAHAH SHE'S SO UGLY IMPACTED ME, THE IMPACT WAS REAL AT ANY GIVE MOMENT PEOPLE CAN SPREAD AND THEY DO.........AND THEY DO.................I DO BELIEVE..............SPREAD SHIZ ABOUT ME PROBABLY EVERYONE'S LAUGHING AT ME AS USUAL. I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS RIGHT NOW BESIDES BRIAN AND MY KIDS THAT ALL I HANG OUT WITH I DIDN'T DO THAT TO MYSELF. In dragon boating started chatting it up with a girl I WAS GETTING HOPEFUL MAYBE I'M FINALLY MAKING A FRIEND ------------ I watch her go up to her group of friends and ask them "she's know's she ain't with us right???????????????" MY WHOLE LIFE NEARLY HAS BEEN "LIKE THAT" ME JUST KICKED OUT, KICKED OUT,, ISOLATED.............AND THEN MILLIONS OF PEOPLE HAVE BEEN TO THIS HERE BLOG NOT COMMENTING PROBABLY JUDGEING ME, LAUGHING AT ME................MAYBE EVEN HATING ME...............................MAYBE EVEN GETTING READY TO ATTACK ME HARD AGAIN SO I'M SUICIDAL AGAIN CAUSE CHRISTIANS LOVE TO DO THAT TO ME FOR THEIR LORD JESUS CHRIST..........................

TODAY VIA https://www.tut.com/ 

Which I believe I have been getting e-mails via tut.com from lucifer the devil I don't think I've been receiving the e-mails the masses get often. 

Lots of e-mail on the theme of "angels" and being a angel and angel talk

and lucifer just straight up saying it's him - THAT TO 

they quiet this 8 million + views they pry judging me cause thats what people do and it ain't looking like it's EVER in my favour...............................I DON'T WANT YOU ALL TO MAKE ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF AGAIN......................

   Anyways, anothony eventually said he'd date me, and I said no it's ok ---------- just me going off of "vibes" that this guy really didn't want to date me AT ALL, but was "put up to it" ------ that was before I found out the whole truth post graduating from college. 

  And thing is, he's completely homely compared to lucifer. So while you all were laughing at me western oregon univerity for being ugly to ugly.....................

I HAD BY THAT TIME ALREADY NOOKY TIMED LUCIFER, SATAN, THE DEVIL AND "PULLED THAT" 

(in high school, then like me and lucifer distanced ourselves from each other - me having amnesia still - because I decided "occult me" was horrible and hatefilled, and vengeful NOT THE PERSON I WANT TO BE AT ALL)

ALL THINGS "WORK TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD" 

LOVE BOTH MY HUSBANDS

GOING WITH LUCIFER

OH YA

(brian has told me repeatedly that he goes through what I go through aka I have destroyed brian's life and made it so he don't also have friends or a social life etc.)

well that's all about to be solved when lucifer get's here and I hopefully go with him..................

and that's the only way "things will work out for the good for me" 

1st hubby he is IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Romans 8:28

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

your the sexiest guy in eternity lucifer you always have been, you safe to say alwasy will be...................nice to, super nice. Warm. SIlk hair, thick strong silky feathers 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

Anthony wasn't far off from lucifer tooooooooooooo much, he had a "certain build upon him" but still he was so homely compared to lucifer

soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo homely

1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

   I am more weary then "fearful" and 

like moses

I am no longer "sure" of my abilities to even be able to socialize, in a social setting, since how I've been isolated off from humans besides brian and my kids for years and years and years now. 

 I'm pretty sure I lost all my social skills. 

I don't want to be laughed at anymore

judged anymore

but it's probably happening cause people don't comment on my blog posts they quiet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and I don't like church either same reason they merely say high to me, don't talk to me they quiet...............I KNOW WHAT THAT QUIET SHIZ MEANS I'M A JOKE, OR HATED, PROBABLY BOTH

HOMELY JOKE TO BE LAUGHED AT SO UGLY ACCORDING TO WESTERN OREGON UNIVERSITY AND SUCH A JOKE CAUSE I'M SO UGLY ACCORDING TO THEM...................................